Out Of Shape

Well, this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I thought I would let you know that I am out of shape.  Yes, I know it's hard to believe but I have proof.  Trevor's little league team had an optional batting practice on Saturday and because they had so few kids show up, I grabbed a glove and volunteered to shag some balls in the outfield....ha...first mistake.

I was looking good and feeling good...well, actually I was looking fat and feeling fat, but that really is beside the point.  I was ready to show my athletic abilities and impress the youngsters with blinding speed and grace.  In the infield I was like a wall.  Nothing could get through me, as long as they hit it straight at me.  Moving seemed to be a luxury that I all of a sudden couldn't afford.  When did this happen?

A stronger hitter was at the plate so I trotted back to left field.  Completely out of breath from the short trot, I settled in and awaited my first test.  Did I mention that the wind was blowing about 30mph that day?  A few swings later the batter sent one to deep center field.  My mind said, "Go!  You can get that one easy."  I took off, headed straight into the 50 mph wind.  At first I thought this would be a routine catch but why was I moving so slowly?  In a split second I realized I was no longer a player, but an over-weight dad just there to re-live my youth through my son, but it was too late, I had already committed to the catch and everyone could see me going for it.  With a new-found determination I decided that I had one last catch in me so I ran...and ran...and ran.  When I had gone about 10 yards I realized that the 60mph wind was actually helping as it curved the fly ball towards me.  I ran on...  And ran...and ran...and ran... Ten more yards and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe...no matter, just open wide and let the 75mph wind fill your lungs with fresh air!  Ten more yards and I stretched out my glove to make the catch!  Yes!  The marathon was over!  I slowed the big rig down with a little help from the center field fence.  I didn't turn around right away...didn't want to let everyone see that I was out of breath, red-faced and unable to stand up straight.  I took a deep breath and turned around to see that no one had even watched my outstanding effort.  The pitcher was throwing another ball, the batter was ready to send it my way, and the other kids had their backs to me in anticipation of the next swing.

Oh well...

I guess I made it look too easy.

I reached into my glove to retrieve the elusive culprit that caused my near heart attack and it was then that I realized that I must really be out of shape.  

The ball was not in my glove!  I hadn't made the catch after all!  In all the huffing and puffing, stumbling and bumbling, and running...well at least jogging...I had somehow missed it!  I must be past my prime...

or maybe it was the 100mph hurricane that was holding me back.
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